"Him"

     Well, I found out yesterday that he came back. His name, unknown. I've always called him "it" my whole life. It is that little voice inside my head that's not of my own. He has been there since I was little and it took me until the 5th grade to decide that it is not of my own. He has always told me and given me advice on what to do, yet again it is also the thing that made me go insaine and almost be convinced to murder another one of my kind. Nonetheless, he was usualy right on how things would happen. Some called it a demon, some a ghost, others a skitzophrenic creature, a nightmare outside of sleep, or they told me that I was just plain crazy. Call him what you will be he's real to me. But like I said at the begining of this paragraph, he came back..

    Twas not only last November that he went away, his coming back unknown. My situation as my so called lover explains it,"Kicking you while on the ground," but I didn't think any of that.. He allways helped yet try to worsen my life so what I should take seriously is undecided for now. As it tells the usual prophecies, he proclaims that in four months things between me and my unsure love will change. His creepy words spoke,"In four months time you and this boy will grow further apart, feelings crumbled to ashes between the two of you until tiny remains are left (but yet again you're almost there), and then a new boy will come leaving your so called love to dwel in his sadness of his own unknown feelings left for you. This new commer will either be one of the many mistakes made in your own wreched life or a wise choice, the decision is yours."

     Later that night as I was talking to my questionable lover, he felt the distressed tone in my voice and asked what was going on. I tried to put it off but all he did was insist I tell him, so I did. Odly enough, he treated me like I was normal even though my psychotic past came back. As questions were asked I said a little bit of the things he has said and told me, and lets not forget the usual threats. Once time started to pass I could feel his secret fear or sadness in his voice that he knew I might be taken away by some highschool boy. And by from what I could tell, he was convinced of this. It was another night where he was being a sweetheart too! Talk about bad timing.. So what will happen to me? Will I meet this guy that is absolutaly perfect for me this year? The next? Should I wait to be with my now love even though possibly when he turns 18 we may have to split until I move out of of fear that my mom will sue for rape or something along those lines? Will I end up happily married for the rest of my life with someone I meet now? All these things will be answered once I enter Highschool but that doesn't start for another week! I wish I was capable of patience. I also hope I don't end up like his mom whom at the same age as us fell in love with a guy but it never worked out over a mom who made them separate and now regrets it for the rest of her life.. And if I end up with another guy I will really miss his family.. They treated and acted as if I were actualy apart of the family!

It's true what they say, these decisions will affect us for the rest of our life...